Season Of Love
by jewishGAGA
Summary: Kyle's in love with a killer, Cartman's in love with a monster. The feelings strong, but then it fades. So how do they know it's real when they both fell for the enemy? Each chapter is based on a different song. Both Kyle/Cartman povs
1. Season Of Love

**PROLOGUE**

**

* * *

****Season Of Love**  
Shiny Toy Guns

love. feel love.

every question, every answer to..  
ever constant, ever changing feud..

it's a memory in the sun or it's hell in the darkness maybe it's all around to see if we try..  
maybe it's bad inside with me all this time.

love love love love love love love love love

crazy with it, crazier without never certain, never full of doubt now you feel it, now you don't do you know what you're feeling?  
where did it come from, and where does it go?  
if it were right in front of me, would i know?

love love love love love love love love love


	2. Disgusting

Hello ^_^ This is my very first Kyman fanfic that I'm actually dedicated to. Kyman is honestly the only reason I go on anyways xD  
I've been inspired recently by music and the ending scene of "It's a Jersey Thing" Best Kyman scene I've seen in a long time 3  
Anywho, Each chapter is going to written based on a different Kyman song (yes i have a Kyman playlist on my ipod...lol) and the chapters will change POVs from Kyle to Cartman as well.  
Also...Idk if I'll have to change the rating eventually...but...I can't read/write a good Kyman fanfic without the sex D:  
And...I really hate Ke$ha...but this song seemed to fit really well for a first chapter...

* * *

**Disgusting**  
**Ke$ha**

FML.

Yeah, it's that fucking bad.

Kyle banged his head against his computer desk a few times, not like that helped his headeache in any way, he'd just have to wake up in the morning to the source of his problems anyways.

What? Cartman's fault? What makes you think that?

NO FUCKING SHIT IT'S CARTMAN'S FAULT.

Cartman had found it funny to spread rumors around school that Kyle was gay. He had literally gone as far as to steal an old English paper of his and doodle (in Kyle's handwriting..., yes Cartman was a master at forgery) a heart with the words "Kyle + Stan." He even brought a flourescent lime green dildo to school claiming he found it while sneaking into Kyle's house (Kyle was pretty damn sure that the dildo actually belonged to Cartman's whore of a mother). It didn't help that thanks to the fat bastards manipulative powers he was able to convince their entire junior class that he was right, using examples such as how Kyle's never taken an interest to dating other high school girls, he's always preaching his gay little speeches, and is constantly PMSing due to all the sand stuck up his vagina. Kyle obviously broke a gasket and elbowed that asshole in the ribs with his bony elbow, which in turn, caused Cartman to play the whole "innocent" act and limp away to the nurses office so he could skip a few periods. Whereas, Kyle got a nice after school detention and got to return home afterwards greeted by an extremely pissed off Sheila Broflovski who had recieved a phone call from the school about the incident. So Kyle was yelled at and smacked across the face by his beloved mother and sent to his room to work on a fuck load of homework until 3 am, get 3 hours of sleep, and face his worst nightmare at the bus stop again.

Kyle sighed and rested his head on his arms on top of his open lap top. Unfortunately, Cartman WAS correct about one of his fibs...

Kyle Broflovski WAS in fact gay...but not for Stan. That emo pussy was too depressed about his breakup with the rebelling Wendy Testaburger who had dumped Stan for Cartman for god knows why.

Kyle grumbled to himself, closed his eyes, and rested his forehead against the palms of his hands.

**_~It's Disgusting._**

Cartman...dammit why couldn't that fatass just leave his head alone! He already tormented the poor jew enough at school let alone his own thoughts! Ok well, Cartman couldn't be considered "fat" anymore...it was just a habit Kyle refused to drop. Cartman unfortunately had had time on his side had grown into his body so he was now a staggering 6 feet tall and had well toned muscles from the Karate classes he took. He still had some pudge here and there, but it somehow suited him and Kyle could never imagine a skinny Eric Cartman; the boy who probably ate powdered doughnut pancake surprise everyday for breakfast.

Kyle on the other hand was skinny and had stopped growing at a measly 5'5. He was cursed with his mom's height and his dad's weight. The roles had been switched and instead of Kyle being the one to make the bastard child cry like when they were in elementary school, it was Kyle who was now physically challenged.

"Gah...stop thinking about him god dammit...," Kyle facepalmed himself after realizing he still had Cartman's hot body sketched into his mind.

But seriously...HOW THE FUCK could the short tempered jew who's despised Cartman for years, fall for the sadistic neo nazi who's only caused Kyle pain and misery throughout the years?

**_~It's Disgusting._**

Kyle could have tried to ignore the feelings bottled up inside him, but every attempt had failed miserably. Kyle couldn't help going back to him, hanging out with him,...loving him. Even after the damn bastard had given him AIDS, tried to exterminate the Jews, and chased Kyle across the U.S. just so he could have his balls sucked. The Hebrew boy was never capableof just saying "fuck it," and never speaking to the mother fucking asshole again.

**_~My heart booms at the speed of light._**

**_But the exit signs always on my mind, always in my sight._**

**_I can say that I really want to stay._**

**_But the devil inside always wins the fight, always gets his way._**

Kyle was pissed off at himself for it.

The way the nazi slowly drawled out his name sent chills down the jews spine._ "Kaaaaaaahl..."_

A death wish in the ear caused a blush to creep across the jews cheeks.

And a heated argument caused the jew to go hard...

**_~It's Disgusing, how I love you._**

**_God, I hate me, I could kill you._**

**_Cause you're messing up my name._**

**_Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face._**

**_It's disgusting, how you changed me._**

**_From a bandit to a baby._**

**_Thinking about gotta change my name._**

**_If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame._**

**_Look at what you do to me._**

**_It's Disgusting._**

Why did it have to be Eric Theodore Cartman that made him feel this way? Honestly he wished he had fallen for Stan instead, Kenny even...hell, even Butters! But Kyle didn't dare reveal his sexuality to his classmates, it would give Cartman even more pleasure at knowing he was right about Kyle. Knowing him, he would even probably go from calling Kyle "jew" to "jew fag." And besides, even if the Jew eventually did unveil his forbidden love for the racist Nazi, it would be pointless since he claimed to be straight. Kyle honestly couldn't see how Cartman could be straight though, after all, he DID stick Butters dick in his mouth, danced with a cutout of Justin Timberlake while dressed up a Britney Spears, and hosted tea parties with his stuffed animals when he was younger. But even so...Cartman had Wendy and there was no point in persuing a relationship with a guy who's sole goal in life was to taste the sweet tears of his favorite Jew toy.

"God dammit...," Kyle murmured to himself. Well one thing was certain, Kyle HAD to get a girlfriend so he wouldn't cause anymore suspicion of being gay and to stop getting stupid "ohlawdhesgonnarapeme" stares from all the guys in class.

"Well...I guess it's about time I accept Bebe's request..." Kyle peered down at his homework then slammed his lap top shut. "Fuck it," Kyle said in a monotone voice, and with that he turned off the light and layed in his bed, a restless night ahead.

* * *

ACK! I HOPE YOU LIKED IT! O_ -tweeking out-  
The next chapter will be Cartman's POV  
I'm going to try to update a chapter every weekend since school work, my job, my laziness, and my writers block usually prevent me from writing during the week.  
**PLEASE R & R! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE ANONYMOUS OR WHAT. YOU RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH AND REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. I'M SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY.  
**And is there anyone else who thought that Mysterion was gonna be Kyle...? Or at least that Kyle was covering for the real Mysterion/took over?


	3. Monster

Heylo again! :D I'm ecstatic to finally complete 2 chapters already! I hope my mind doesn't just suddenly crash on me now!  
This is all Cartman's POV  
And please, I HIGHLY recommend that you listen to the songs that are featured here, they may help you understand the story more/make it more enjoyable.  
Whoops...forgot...I DO NOW OWN SOUTH PARK, IT IS THE PROPERTAH OF MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER.

* * *

**Monster**  
**Ne-Yo/Lady Gaga**

ROFLMAO!

Damn, that was the best idea Eric Cartman had come up with for humiliating kyle in a long time, what hadn't he thought of it before? The look on Kyle's face was priceless when he was sent to detention and he himself was free to go skip class and lounge around in the nurses office all day. Of course the scrawny ass Jew didn't ACTUALLY hurt him, he had a good 6 or so inches on him and much more muscle mass. He could take down that stupid Jew in a heartbeat.

Cartman was still laughing his off about Kyle's reaction to the rumor he had spread throughout the entire school on his way home from Wendy's house. Psh, rumor? Kyle WAS a little fudgepacking faggot. He was probably secretly wishing that his hippie wuss of a boyfriend, Stan, would butt fuck him or something.

Cartman opened the front door to his house and immediately heard the rhythmic sounds of groaning and moaning. The brunette grittet his teeth together in fury. That fucking crack whore...always fuckinga new guy every night. Would this one have to "mysteriously" die as well tonight? It wasn't the first time the dangerous boy had murdered someone. He had to kill two previous boyfriends of his moms before, after one of them raped her until she bled and te other was physically abusing her. Of course Cartman had to teach his mom a lesson as well, how else was that useless bitch going to learn? So he put her in her place by knocking her out cold for the rest of the night, which also gave Cartman time to dispose of the bodies.

Cartman skulked up to his room and slammed the door shut, trying to block out the sex noises from the next room. Now he was pissed off again. Hmm...who could he take his anger out on now...? Oh that's right!

Kyle.  
Fucking.  
Broflovski.  
His Jew toy  
Not yours.

Cartman layed down upod his bed thinking up a scheme to make the Jews life a living hell once again. Damn, what was it about that annoying kike that made it so much fucking fun to torment and tease?

Ah, that's right, he actualy fights back. Cartman would have though that after all the yearsof his constant teasing and humiliating him, the dumb Jew would have learned to not give in to the sadistic boys desires. For the more that Kyle fought back, the more hungrier Cartman became. He pretty much survived off of Kyle's misery and words dripping with poison.

**_He's a monster._**

Yes, Cartman's little monster...

He'd never back off or give up, he was just as stubborn as Cartman was.

**_All my life and the hereafter._**

**_I've never seen one like you._**

Life was a neverending competition for the two enemies...

**_You're a knife, sharp and deadly._**

**_And it's me that you cut into._**

**_But I don't mind, In fact I like it._**

**_Though I'm terrified, I'm turned on._**

**_But scared of you._**

Life was a game, a game that would eventually turn the tables on Kyle.

Kyle would crumble.

Submit to King Cartman's authority.

But still resisting all the way.

**_He's a monster, beautiful monster._**

**_Beautiful monster but I don't mind._**

**_And I need him, said I need him._**

**_Beautiful monster, but I don't mind._**

Oh if only the Nazi could have the Jew all to himself...not in a faggy way or anything. He HATED him. He just wanted Kyle to focus on only him, and him only. he'd haunt the ginger boys dreams, his thoughts, disrupt his daily life, possess his mind. Make Kyle...feistier...just so when Cartman won again it would bring Kyle down lower...so he could FINALLY taste the sweet tears of his precious Jew toy in pain. Aw how Cartman loved seeing the redhead like that...green eyes piercing right through him, his red curls ablaze, his threatening glare piercing through him like a needle to the flesh, his words on a torch attempting, but failing, to destroy the killer within...

**_In his eyes there's love and fire_**

**_In my heart, he's burning through._**

**_But I don't mind, In fact I like it._**

**_Though I'm terrifed, I'm turned on._**

**_But scared of you._**

Cartman nodded to himself in approval. What a site it was to see that ginger jersey jew all fired up. Being pushed to the limits to fight a losing battle. It reminded Cartman of a certain someone...

Wendy Testaburger, she was pretty much the female version of Kyle. Both the schools smartest male and female students, both kind and caring to others, and both very easy to get riled up. But for some reason, Wendy wasn't as fun to "play" with as Kyle was. There was something else about the scrawny Jew that Wendy didn't possess that Cartman was attracted to...he just couldn't put his finger on it.

**_He ate my heart._**

What the hell else was so special about Kyle that he HAD to be the one to pick on all the time? Why didn't he achieve the same feeling when he screwed around with other people's minds? An an image of Kyle suddenly flashed through Cartman's mind and latched itself there. Green eyes full of life, firey red locks peeking out from underneath that bright green trapper hat he always wore, smooth creamy skin, that tight little Jew ass of his...

He was fucking gorgeous.

Wait...WTF!

Cartman sat up quickly in a cold sweat. There was no WAY that he just thought that...

**_Playing with my heart._**

**_And he's playing with my mind._**

Cartman's heart skipped a beat as he clutched at his chest tightly as if he were having a sudden heart attack.

It was all Kyle's fault. That sneaky Jew rat...

He was the one doing this to him.

Cartman didn't have a single idea on what that feeling was, a part of him was screaming in protest and the other half said it didn't mind.

**_She's a monster, beautiful monster._**

**_Beautiful monster, but I don't mind._**

Cartman turned to his pillow and roughly tossed it aside, revealing a small and highly damaged photograph. It had been ripped apart and then taped back together, had pins poked through it like a voodoo doll, and had pencil and eraser marks etched permanently into it. The newest one still clearly shown was that of a heart with an X crossed through it. Cartman took the picture with trembling hands and lightly brushed his lips against the frayed and battle scarred photo of Kyle Broflovski. Cartman, not even aware of what he was doing, quickly tore the picture away from his mouth, crumpled it up, and threw it into the trash bin next to the door. The confused boy then plopped himself back onto the sheets and burried his face into his pillow.

"What the fuck is happening to me...?"

* * *

There...finished...Cartman is so hard to write...too much going on in that small head of his! lulz  
DON'T FORGET TO R & R! I'M STILL A NEW AUTHOR HERE! MAKE MEH HAPPEH AND MOTIVATED! :)


	4. Poker Face

Hullo thar! :3 I would have updated a few days ago, if AT&T didn't disconnect the internet =_=  
Anyways, I know the song Poker Face is actually written by Gaga in a woman's perspective, but I think it could go either ways.  
A woman is with a man but fantasizes about being with a woman, therefore, that man can't read her "Poker Face"  
Anywho, it's Kyle's POV. Enjoy3

* * *

**Poker Face**  
**Lady Gaga**

Kyle awoke the next morning struggling to drag his ass out of bed. But after realizing that there was only 10 minutes left until the bus left, Kyle only had time to throw on his clothes and fly out the door into the flurry of snowflakes. Yeah, perfect fucking way to start the morning. A shitty day followed by no sleep followed again by a shitty day. Lovely.

Kyle walked as quickly as his frozen legs would permit him, feeling his feet and emotional state sink lower and lower into the snow beneath him. The shivering Jew reached the bus stop right when the doors to the bus were shutting, so he kicked his leg in between the door to keep it open, but yelped in pain since his foot was still a little numb from walking in the thick snow. The door opened automatically and large warm hads roughly pulled Kyle up into the vehicle.

"God you're such a dumbass, and since when is the goody goody jewfag late for the bus anyways?" The unwanted voice of Eric Cartman spoke from above him.

"Since you started ruining my social life you asshole," Kyle shoved Cartman away and searched for a seat within the mass of students not wanting to walk to school in the cold.

"Heh, are you finally admitting defeat then Kahl?" Cartman sneered.

"Tch, as if," Kyle retorted back.

"Big words there Jew, oh and as much as I'd hate to be seen sitting next to a faggot like you, there's no more empty seats left except the one behind Kenny and Butters.

"Great, just great," Kyle grumbled as he moped to his seat behind the two blonde boys. Butters was cheerfully singing along to the song "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga on his ipod. Kenny on the other hand was reading his "history textbook" which actually consisted of a Playboy hidden behind the textbook so it looked like he was studying. Kenny set his "learning material" down and turned around in his seat to face Kyle's direction just as Cartman sat back down next to Kyle.

"Hey dudes," Kenny greeted them, "Kyle' you look like shit."

"What the fuck ever..," Kyle responded, clearly not in the mood to talk to anyone especially after remembering that he had skived off his homework last night and would recieve yet another detention.

"Kahl just has more sand than usual up his ass this morning," Cartman replied nonchalantly.

"Since when does Kyle have sand us his ass now? I thought it was always his vagina," Kenny inquired to the larger boy curiously.

"Well duh, Stan's the one with the pussy since he is one, and Kyle's the jewfag that takes it up the ass," Cartman responded back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What, so you're the one who gives it?" Kenny casually asked. Kyle perked his ears at this question. Kenny didn't know anything did he? Or maybe he knew something about Cartman? Wait...no no no NO, it's not like Kyle has actually DONE anything with Cartman...urgh it was going to be a long day. Kyle pretended to not hear what was just asked and continued staring out the frosty window, a light blush sweeping across his cheeks.

"What!" Cartman yelled loudly enough to get Butters attention now too. "First of all Kenny, I am NOT fucking gay, and even if I was, I wouldn't be gay for that Jew!" Kenny turned to Kyle to see if he'd get a reaction of some sort from him, but Kyle just kept trying to suppress the emotions inside him. Unfortunately, Kyle just couldn't suppress the blush still trying to sneak to the surface of his cheeks. Kenny noticing this, smirked in approval.

"Dude...stand up for your fucking self," Cartman lightly punched Kyle's shoulder in hopes to break his silence.

"Fuck off fatass," Kyle automatically responded without thinking. Wow. _Really? _Best comeback ever right?

"Dude! Kahl what crawled up your ass and died!" Cartman grabbed Kyle forcefully by the shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Hmm...your dick?" suggested Kenny innocently with that same mischievious smirk on his lips.

Ok, seriously, Kyle couldn't take it anymore. Kenny was doing this on purpose. He somehow knew about Kyle's crush on Cartman and he wanted to figure out if his assumption was correct or not. But Kyle wasn't going to let Kenny win this. Urgh! But the way Cartman was looking at him...a combination of frustration and...lust? No...no, it couldn't be...

"Da fuck! The jewfag is as fucking red as his ginger head pubes!" Cartman said, shoving the read head away from him in disgust.

"Which type of 'head' are you talking about Cartman?" Kenny jokedm starting to laugh profusely.

_**Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face.**_

"I'M ASKING BEBE OUT TODAY!" Kyle exploded. He has to save his own ass somehow.

"Woah, dude what the fuck?" Finally Kenny's smirk was gone, replaced by a look of shock.

"Bebe...?" Cartman whispered to himself, completely dumbfounded. "Why the hell are you going to do that?" he inquired in confusion.

God dammit, was it THAT obvious he way gay or something? Kyle would just have to hope he was as skilled of a bullshitter as Cartman was.

"Well one, because I'm not gay. Two, because I like her and she's always asking me out anyways. And three, you have Wendy and Kenny has Tammy. So why shouldn't I be allowed to have a girlfriend?" Kyle snapped back.

Cartman looked astounded at this, turned around, and stayed silent for a while. So Kyle got to bask in the glory of knowing that Cartman was upset he's lost this battle.

**_He's got me like nobody._**

"Then why were you blushing just now?" Kenny asked with an eyebrow raised.

"B-because I was thinking of how I should ask her out..., I've never done this before y'know," Kyle stammered nervously. Yes, fail.

"Wow, well ok..." The hooded boy said, not looking throughly convinced by Kyle's pathetic lies. "Just let me know how she is in bed then," he added as an after thought.

Cartman finally took Kenny's silence as a chance to turn to Kyle with a perplexed expression on his face as if he was actually thinking.

"Why do you want to date Bebe all of a sudden? She asks you out every week and you turn her down every time. You've never liked her, what made you suddenly change your mind?" The brunette asked accusedly.

Kyle sat there in silence for a few moments, pondering on this question. He guessed this was the same case with Cartman as well. Why? Why did Kyle change his mind? He had always hated Cartman...maybe it wasn't real, just like how it was going to be with Bebe. From hate to lust to love? The thought was just crazy to ever consider. But then again...why did Cartman even care so much? There was no way in hell that he liked Kyle back. So Kyle responded with the only response that made sense to him.

"What the fuck does it matter to you fatass?" Kyle retorted back, but with less emotion than usual.

"Whatever..like I even give two shits about your personal life," Cartman responded effortlessly and turned the other way to ignore him.

Kenny's head turned from one to the other, trying to read what was going on in the two enemies heads.

* * *

When they reached the school and got off the bus, Kyle automatically spotted Bebe's pack of girlfriends walking through the gates, Wendy included among them. Kyle was beginning to procrastinate now and was hoping he'd be able to sneak past the giggling girls without Kenny and Cartman noticing. But Kenny had a good eye and pointed Kyle to her direction.

"I wanna see if Jew boy here really has the balls to ask her out," Cartman said teasingly, the traces of shock and confusion completely gone from his voice.

"Dude, let's hide...behind that pillar!" Kenny pointed to one of the pillars in front of the building.

"Go on kaaaahl," Cartman shoved Kyle closer to the mass of girls.

"I-I kind of wanted to ask her when she's alone...almost time for class...," Kyle mumbled.

"Shut it and hurry up before the bell rings!" Kenny called back, dragging Cartman by the sleeve behind the pillar.

Kyle gulped nervously. He was REALLY not looking forward to this. Bebe was in fact a slutty gold digger and had pretty much dated or slept with every guy in school. Well, the rich ones that is. Kyle took one last breathe and walking into the circle of fire which consisted of a half dozen gossipping boy crazed girls. Bebe was wearin a cheap plastic version of a black leather skirt and a tight fitting tank top that revealed as much cleavage as possible without having her breasts pop like a balloon. Kyle groaned as he approached her and prodded her on the shoulder.

"Bebe, may I go out with you?" Kyle said more pleadingly than anything. Of course all the girls surrounding her started giggling their asses off. Bebe's expression went from confused to surprised to ecstatic.

"Woah, wait back up there for a sec Kyle, _seriously?"_

"Yes, I-I like you."

_**I won't tell you that I love you.**_

_**Kiss or hug you cuz I'm bluffin'.**_

_**With my muffin I'm not lyin'.**_

_**I'm just stunnin' with my love glue gunnin'.**_

"Oh my god Kyle, why didn't you just say so all the other times? And you don't have to be so formal about it!" Bebe squealed excitedly.

"Haha, ok good, I was getting nervous for a second that you'd be the one to turn me down this time," Kyle laughed while rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Oh defininitely not! I've wanted you forever Kyle! Screw the other guys, they're nothing compared to you," Bebe exclaimed giddily.

"Thanks Bebe," Kyle beamed up at her and wrapped his arms around her tenderly. All the girls cheered and Bebe seemed to melt at his touch.

_**Can't read my, can't read my, no he will NEVER read my poker face.**_

"Well, I've got to get to class now, bye gorgeous!" Kyle quickly let go of her and speed walked towards the entrance of the school, hearing the cheers and squee's of joy from behind him. Well, now that he got that nauseating business taken care of. It would suck having to get used to calling her mushy names like "baby" and "darling" all the time.

"Ok, you guys can come out now," Kyle called out for his friends. No answer. Kyle peered around the pillar. No one there. It wasn't until Kyle saw droplets of blood on the cement that Kyle was led to a patch of bushes where he found a dead Kenny McCormick with a knife through his neck. Eric Cartman was no where to be found.

_**He's got me like nobody.**_

_**

* * *

**_

OOOOH THE SUSPENSE! lol, where's Stan when ya need him eh? Don't worry, he won't be an emo wussy for the ENTIRE story :P  
And dang...I REALLY like to say FUCK don't I? Anyone care to count how many times i wrote it? I'm curious but I'm too lazy to do it myself xD  
REMEMBER TO R & R! MAKE A NEW AUTHOR HAPPY :D


	5. Tangled Up In Me

Ok...finally...it's finished...I'm incredibly pissed atm because right when I finished typing it all out, decided to be a bitch and not work, sooooo I had to rewrite the ENTIRE thing...  
But aw well, it was worth it in the long run I guess.  
This is an old song o_o a total one hit wonder.  
Cartman's POV.  
SOUTH PARK IS OWNED BY MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER. NOT ME. IF IT WAS IT WOULD JUST TURN INTO A REALLY GAY YAOI ROMANTIC COMEDY SHOW.

**

* * *

**

**Tangled Up In Me**  
**Skye Sweetnam**

God damn that poor fucking piece of shit! Cartman stormed to his locker in fury at what Kenny had said to him right before he shoved a pocket knife into his lungs.

_"Dude, stop being a pussy and just admit that you're gay for Kyle," Kenny said donning that same smirk as always._

_"Shut the fuck up Kenny, I'm NOT a fucking faggot ok?" Cartman said, gritting his teeth together in anger._

_"Well you sure as hell act like one, the way you were getting all jealous when Kyle said he was going to ask Bebe out."_

_"I was NOT fucking jealous, I HATE that little kike, now CUT the CRAP."_

_"So you're blushing right now because you hate him?" Kenny was laughing now at how ridiculous and stubborn Cartman was being. _

_AW. HELL. NO. ERIC. FUCKING. CARTMAN. DID. NOT. BLUSH._

_"I'm hot god dammit, that's why my face is red!" Cartman hissed through clenched teeth."_

_"Haha, dude it's fucking freezing this morning!" Kenny burst out in laughter at Cartman's lame excuse._

_Cartman was fed up with Kenny's smart ass comments. He whipped out the pocket knife he always kept on him and shoved it into Kenny's neck where blood started gushing from his throat in steady flows._

_"Dude...da fuck...," Kenny gurgled weakly, choking on blood. He then collapsed with a thud into a bed of bushes behind them. _

_"Fuck off Kenny, I'm confused enough already without you having to put more shit into my head," Cartman glared coldly down at the hooded boys lifeless form._

He got what was coming to him. He didn't have to make things even more complicated for him than it already was. In actuality, it was all Kyle's fault. He was the one making Cartman feel this way. that sneaky Jew rat messing with his mind. He was the one who possessed Cartman last night...he had forced him to dig around in the trash can the next morning, desperately searching for that crumpled picture...putting it in his binder...to lustily stare at during class...wait, WHAT? Ew, no. It was to remind him that he had to plot new ways to torment his Jew of course. Wait, that's why he was jealous of Bebe! because she'd be seeing Kyle more often than he would. Going on dates, talking on the phone, sleeping together...wait, hang on...why should he be jealous of THAT? Everyone knows Jews are no good in bed anyways...Fuck, ok no more, just push those thoughts aside. Of course bebe was stealing Kyle away. He was HIS property, not Bebe's. Cartman wanted Kyle's thoughts to revolve around him, not that little slut. More time spent with Bebe meant less time Cartman had to make his Jew's life a living hell. He'd have to step it up a notch then. Every encounter with Kyle had to be worth it. He wouldn't let a precious second go to waste. Soon Kyle would be wrapped around his finger again and his relationship with Bebe would be over. Cartman headed over to his first period U.S. History class which he fortunately had sitting next to Kyle. He took his seat right as Kyle stormed in and almost sprinted to his desk before the bell rang just a seond later. Kyle glared at Cartman suspiciously, looked both ways, and tossed a piece of lined paper onto Cartman's desk. Cartman curiously unfolded it and read.

_"Why did you kill Kenny?" _Cartman raised an eyebrow at Kyle and quickly scribbled back.

_"Because he was saying crap about you being a queer-o and that you'd be too much of a wussy to actually ask Bebe out."_

Kyle looked at Cartman's answer and mouthed the word 'bullshit.' He passed it back a moment later with,_ "I'm not stupid, you were the one who thought that, not Kenny. Tell me the fucking truth."_

Cartman simply wrote back, "_Because he was pissing me off ok? Now STFU and pay attention to the lesson so I can copy your notes later." _Kyle's brow furrowed in fury as he read. He crumpled up the paper, tossed it in the trash, and got out his notebook to start his notes like the little goody two-shoed Jew he was.

_**Hey, hey, hey.**_

_**Can't you see I want you from the way I push you away.**_

_**Yeah.**_

_**Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today.**_

_**Mix the words with the actions, do it all for your reaction.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Lunchtime.

Ok, there was one upside to Kyle dating Bebe. Her and Wendy were best friends, so of course they'd want eachother's boyfriends to sit with them too. So during lunch period, Bebe dragged Kyle over to the table Wendy had got for them. Literally dragged him. He reluctantly sat across from Cartman and pretended he didn't even exist.

"So...I know this is a stupid question, since it's been less than a day, but how're you two been together so far?" Wendy inquired to Bebe. Bebe was clutching onto the annoyed looking Kyle tightly and tried to kiss him on the lips. Kyle hurriedly turned his head the other way so that she ended up pecking him on the cheek instead.

"Oh I'm ecstatic! After all those rumors that have been spreading, like that Kyle's gay and stuff, I was worried for a while that all of my attempts to be his girlfriend were becoming pointless. Although he doesn't seem ready to kiss me yet," she said disappointedly.

"That's because he IS gay Bebe...," Cartman said rolling his eyes. He honestly didn't know if that was true or not anymore, but the way Kyle was blushing when Kenny made those suggestive comments...why else would he turn so red? he had to be gay. Hell, he'd BETTER be gay...wait, why was Cartman HOPING Kyle was a homo? because he, himself...was gay for Kyle? NO! WHAT! Dude, no. Because it would make it WAAAAY funner to tease him of course! Urgh, maybe he needed to eat something...get his head straightened out. Eh, he could just ditch next period and buy some actual good shit at KFC or something. But something made him want to stay at school...

"I told you a MILLION times Cartman, I AM NOT GAY. I had the balls to ask Bebe out after all," Kyle retorted, pulling Bebe closer to him by the waist.

"Eric, please, can you two just get along? I don't want your guys' constant arguing to ruin our relationship or my friendship with Bebe," Wendy asked pleadingly.

"Wendy, I'm being a good friend here and letting Bebe know the truth about Kahl's sexual orientation. I don't want to keep her in the dark and she ends up going over to his house or something and finds a stash of gay porn," Cartman said in a serious and falsely concerned voice and doodling idly on a random paper in his binder.

"No one here fucking believes that shit! And besides, there's probably plenty of porn in your house with your mom featured on all the covers!" Kyle slammed his fist on the table angrily.

Oh Kyle did NOT just go there. That was low. Cartman tried to ignore the last comment about his mom as his stomach churned uneasily. He hoped his facial expression didn't show any signs of weakness on it.

"Cartman, I trust Kyle completely. If Kyle was gay he would come out to us, he's always been the least conforming one of us," Bebe tried talking some sense into the hopeless case.

"You can't dent it forever Jew...," Cartman trailed off. He looked down at the paper he was doodling on and gasped in horror. He had unknowingly been drawing hearts all over the crumpled picture of Kyle.

His hand was possessed.

"What is it?" Wendy asked his in a concerned voice.

"Nothing, it's nothing," Cartman said nervously, beads of sweat trailing down his forehead. he quickly tossed the picture back into his binder, but Kyle was too quick for him and hastily grabbed the corner of the photo. Kyle has an accomplished little smirk on his face since he had caught Cartman so panic stricken.

How cute.

FUCK.

Cartman pulled back his hand and slammed it as hard as he could on top of Kyle's holding the picture. Kyle yelped and quickly recoiled his hand back.

"Dont. Even. Fucking. Dare. Touch. My. Shit. Stay out of my business or I'll beat you into a bloody pulp, got it?" Cartman growled in a voice dripping with venom. "And don't you EVER mention my mom again you filthy hymie," he added as an afterthought.

Kyle's facial expression was one of mingled confusion, shock, and fear. It would have been one to laugh at, but he just wasn't in the mood any more. He was too pissed off at himself and relieved that no one saw his embarassing doodles to focus on making fun of Kyle in such a submissive position. If Kyle had seen it he would surely be an asshole and tell the entire school that he in fact was the true faggot.

_**Hey, hey.**_

**_Get tangled up in me._**

**_You wanna know more more more about me._**

**_Gotta know reverse psychology._**

**_I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep._**

**_I'm the boy you never get just quite what you see._**

"Ok, I've had it! Bebe, why don't we plan a double date this Saturday? I'm fed up with their bickering. They need to spend some more time with eachother and hopefully get over their differences," Wendy said in annoyance, tugging at her silky black hair.

"Agreed," Bebe replied without hesitation. "This Saturday, 2 o'clock at the mall."

"You better be there Eric, or we're over," Wendy snapped at Cartman as she packed up her things and left the table with Bebe.

Cartman and Kyle both nodded in silence, both too involved with fighting the storms raging inside their heads.

* * *

It was after school, Cartman wanted to get fucking home as soon as possible. But of course, as he was digging in his locker, Kyle approached him and leaned against the lockers, staring intently at Cartman with seriously eyes.

"What do you need now Jew?" Cartman said, trying to pretend everything was back to normal.

"Tell me the truth this time, not another BS story of yours," Kyle's eyes flashed dangerously, "What was all that shit about at lunch?"

"What ARE you talking about Kahl?" Cartman asked in false innocence while rolling his eyes. He had already expected Kyle to start PMSing over this.

"Don't play fucking stupid with me you fat fuck!" Kyle slammed his fist against Cartman's locker door, making it shut in his face to get his attention. All of Kyle's uneasiness around Cartman from lunchtime had completely vanished. "Why do you have a picture of me in your binder anyways? Do you get off on it or something, you sick fuck?"

Cartman froze. Act natural. But visions of Cartman jacking off to the sweet and innocently smiling picture of Kyle flooded his mind. Cartman jacking off Kyle...Kyle underneath Cartman's body, completely at his mercy...begging for more...SHIT BALLS! No...NO! This couldn't be happening...say something that ERIC THEODORE CARTMAN would say. Not this gay kike obsessed freak.

"I use it like a voodoo doll of course, and when I get home I'm tossing it in the oven where all the filthy Jews belong."

_**You think that you know me.**_

_**Tangled up in...**_

_**You think that I'm only.**_

_**Tangled up in me.**_

_**When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you.**_

Kyle stared blankly at Cartman's face for a few moments, not saying anything at all, not even breathing.

"I just don't get you," he said in a hoarse voice. And with that, he walked away without another word.

Cartman could have sworn he saw a tear trickle down Kyle's cheek.

**_You wanna know more more more about me._**

**_I'm the boy that's sweepin' you off your feet._**

**_

* * *

_**

Oh yes, a hymie! Well it's just another derogatory word for a Jew, just like kike.  
and i find it hilarious that IKE is actually another ethnic slur for a jew! that was totally planned out lol.  
Anyways, PLEASE R & R. ALL YOU READERS KEEP ME INSPIRED AND MOTIVATED TO WRITE! WITHOUT YOU I AM NOOOOOOTHINGGGGG!


	6. I Hate Everything About You

Herro prease! Finally updated! There's been a nice flow of Kyman fanfics lately hasn't there? :D  
Anyways, this chapter is based off the well known Kyman song "I Hate Everything About You." It's absolutely fantastic.  
And there's a special guest who pays Kyle a visit in this chapter ;D  
Kyle's POV. Enjoy :]

* * *

**I Hate Everything About You**  
**Three Days Grace**

Kyle returned home right after school since his teacher was understanding and overlooked Kyle's unfinished assignment after looking into the poor boys miserable eyes. When Kyle entered his bedroom he headed straight to his mirror and stared at his reflection. The green orbs that were his eyes were incredibly red and swollen from crying his eyes out during his walk home. Yeah, he could have taken the bus in this freezing weather, but he didn't want to be anywhere near Eric Cartman at the moment. It was all his fault that Kyle felt this way anyways. Sad, disappointed, confused, angry...all of these emotions were whirling through Kyle's head at the same time. He started feeling faint and dizzy so he fell backwards onto his bed, ignoring his homework yet again, knowing that his mother would be on his ass about it later. But that was the least of his worries at the moment.

_**Everytime we lie awake.**_

_**After every hit we take.**_

_**Every feeling that I get.**_

_**But I haven't missed you yet.**_

Why, after all those times Cartman had hurt him...why did he still love him? That pathetic excuse for a human being. That anti semetic, self centered, arrogant, racist, nazi son of a bitch. Kyle couldn't be some sort of sick masochist could he? Kyle tried to imagine the two of them in bed together, Cartman on top with a riding crop and wearing a complete nazi uniform. He whipped Kyle's bare ass with a sharp crack as Kyle moaned in pleasure.

_"Yeah, I bet you like that, don'tcha you little cock teasing whore," Cartman said sadistically with an evil grin plastered across his face. Kyle just whimpered and moaned in response._

_"What was that Jew bitch? Answer your master. Do you fucking like it?" Cartman said gruffly, spanking Kyle one last time._

_"Y-yes master...I love it! Please...please fuck me master...I want to feel your large cock inside me!" Kyle screamed out in complete ecstacy._

_"Well, if you insist...but it's not going to be pretty," and with that, the neo nazi jammed his cock right into his Jew's tight little asshole without even prepping him._

Kyle sat straight up in a panic. What the FUCK was he thinking? Having that fatass degrade him like that by wearing the uniform...playing S&M...talking dirty to him. Although Kyle had to admit that Cartman DID look pretty damn hot in that uniform in his fantasy. Wait...FANTASY? NO! NIGHTMARE! But he couldn't deny something about that scene turned him on...He guiltily replayed i through his head again. AUGH NO! it humiliated him just thinking about it. He shoved it to the back of his mind and tried focusing on other unanswered questions he was seeking.

Why did Cartman have a photo of him anyways? It wasn't even a humiliating photo that could be used for blackmail. Just a school photo of him wearing a cheesy smile. And a far larger question was why were there HEARTS all over it? Cartman couldn't possibly like him too right? Seriously, what were the odds of the neighborhood Jew and Nazi, who have been enemies for almost 17 years, suddenly hooking up? The thought was outrageous. And yet, Kyle still had the faintest hope that that dream would someday become a reality. Kyle pondered upon Cartman's state of panic whe Kyle had gotten ahold of his photo. Cartman's mortified expession. His cold words reverbrating through his mind, pounding against his brain.

_"Stay out of my business or I'll beat you into a bloody pulp, got it?"_

_"I use it as a voodoo doll of course, and when I get home I'm tossing it in the oven where all the filthy Jews belong."_

It's amazing that when Kyle actually hated Cartman, he didn't feel anything but hatred boiling in his veins. His words would go through one ear and out the other. They hated eachother, so what did it matter if they called eachother fatass and Jew? But now, it was a completely different feeling altogether. These particular words went through his ears and stayed there. Tormenting the inside of his head. Bottled up emotions screaming to get out. It stung. Kyle didn't get it, Cartman was obviously keeping something from him. He wanted to hear the truth come from his lips for once. Another tear rolled slowly down his cheek as he buried his face into his pillow. Was there even a slim chance that Cartman cared? Even a little...? It didn't even matter how much...if Cartman had the time to rip on him each and every day, did that count as caring? Maybe in Cartman's sick and twisted mind it did.

_**Every roomate kept awake.**_

_**By every sigh and scream we make.**_

_**All the feelings that I get.**_

_**But I still don't miss you yet.**_

_**Only when I stop to think about it...**_

"I hate everything about you Cartman," Kyle cried into his pillow, "So why do I love you?"

"Well that IS a very good question indeed," a low and mysterious voice said from the shadows of Kyle's bedroom. Kyle turned his head towards his window to find a boy wearing a familiar looking costume decked with a long flowing cape covering the boys face, a green letter M embroidered across his chest, and a green question mark attached by a spring on the top of his head.

"Kenny!" Kyle shouted in shock, "Dammit, don't do that again, you scared the living shit out of me and my parents could have seen you! And seriously, where the hell have you been all day?"

"Hey, it's Mysterion to you Kite. And I died, remember? I'm sure you found out that your darling little boyfriend killed me?" Kenny questioned.

"What? Dude, the entire school would know if you died or not, and Cartman would be in juvie! How the hell is it possible for someone to be immortal?" Kyle said quizzically, eyeing Kenny as if he were mad.

"Nevermind...," Kenny sighed disapointedly, "It was worth a try."

"What the hell are you doing trying to play Coon and Friends again anyway?" Kyle asked, eyeing the question mark swaying from side to side atop Kenny's head. "Nothing bad happened right?"

"Oh no no no," Kenny pulled off his hood revealing his messy blonde hair, "My parents have taken up cocaine and Everclear again. Threatening them when I'm Mysterion is still the only thing that frightens them into quitting. I mean, we had nothing but a box of poptarts in the cupboard today! Anyways, I didn't stop over here just to say hi Kyle...I'm here to play the part of your therapist."

"What? Since when was there something wrong with me?" Kyle asked puzzledly.

"Your feelings for the fatass of course! It's so fucking obvious you're crazy for him," Kenny exclaimed excitedly.

"Damn...you've got a good eye Ken...whereas I can't even tell myself WHY I love that giant douche," Kyle sighed hopelessly.

"Hmm...fill me in with what happened today at school while I was gone," Kenny asked. Kyle filled Kenny in on Cartman's behavior during lunch and after school and all the questions he ad avoided answering truthfully. Kenny just rubbed his chin thoughtfully until Kyle was finished with the recap.

"Ha, that explains a lot then. Before I came over here I stopped by Cartman's place and peeked into his window. Guess what he was doing Kyle," Kenny hopped off the window seal and sat next to Kyle on his bed.

"Psh, burning a picture of me I assume?" Kyle rolled his eyes and bit his tongue in anger.

"Yep...the edges of the picture were all charred," Kenny said with a faint smile.

"I knew it, that fucking son of a bitch!" Kyle punched his pillow in fury.

"Wait, hold on...I wasn't finshed," Kenny leaned in closer to Kyle and whispered into his ear softly, "He was crying."

Kyle froze. No...that wasn't possible. Eric Cartman was a cold hearted killer that was uncapable of expressing human feelings. Was he really capable of this sort of act?

"Kyle...he's got it worse than you. At least you have accepted the fact that you have feelings for him. He on the other hand doesn't know exactly what he's feeling. He probably never truly loved someone before in his entire life, not even Wendy. I can tell the from the way he interacts with her that his feelings aren't genuine. He doesn't want to accept the fact that he's in love with the Jew that he's always tormented, let alone a guy at that."

"B-but...the way he treats me...Kenny, he can't possibly have any feelings towards me but hate!" Kyle said, choking back tears.

"Then why do YOU claim to hate him so much? You put on this false facade that you despise him so much. But you're really just covering up the fact that you love him, shoving your true feelings aside and hoping that one day they'll just fade away. Don't play stupid Kyle, I thought you were the smartest guy in class after all," Kenny responded. Damn he was good at this therapy thing.

"But I DO hate him, he's such a juvenile, manipulative, sadistic prick," Kyle ground his teeth together angrily.

"Exactly, he's everything you're not," Kenny stated simply.

_**I hate everything about you.**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

Kyle sat there in silence, letting Kenny's words sink through him for a moment. Was Kenny implying that he was supossed to admire that fat fuck or something?

"Are you saying that...It's because we're polar opposites?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Isn't there that saying 'opposites attract' or something? I bet Cartman really does admire and care for you, he just doesn't want to show it. Like how he saved you from the smug storm and how he revived you from the manbearpig attack. Hell, he owes his life to you too, you saved him from that cave Gore took us in and saved him when he was getting raped by Snooki.

"Wait, whatwhatWHAAAT!" Kyle stared at Kenny in astonishment.

"Hahahaha! Dude you sound just like your mom!" Kenny started cracking up and getting side tracked.

"Dude, are you making this up! How do you know this! ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT!" Kyle shook Kenny by his shoulders hysterically.

"Ha, yes. Stoppit Kyle! But yeah...I'm the only other one besides Butters to know what he did for you. He's fucking obsessed with you dude. Why else would he travel across the country just so that you could suck his balls?"

"My gosh...I...I can't believe he did that for me...he had the perfect opportunities to do away with me completely and he passed them up," Kyle started tearing up again. He couldn't believe there was actually a chance, a slim one, but still...if he just got Cartman to finally accept what he was feeling for Kyle...

"I wouldn't reccomend for you to pressure him Kyle. He's blaming you for this, just as you did. Trying to accept the fact that he hates you and loves you at the same time. Just let it come naturally. He'll cave in eventually," Kenny said reading Kyle's mind to answer his question.

"Ok...I think I can wait," Kyle smiled sadly and hugged Kenny tightly, "Thanks so much Ken...I owe you one. You helped me uncover the truth."

"Haha, no problem dude. I knew after all these years it would eventually come down to you guys finally snapping and killing eachother or fucking. I'm glad it was the latter," Kenny teased, annoying grin spreading across his face again.

"Get the fuck out Kenny!" Kyle was completely flustered and blushing scarlet as he was pushed Kenny away towards the window.

"Fine, fine...can't even take a joke. Oh and one more thing...break up with Bebe. See ya Human Kite, I'll keep an eye on the Coon for you," Kenny winked and with that, he disappeared off into the night.

Kyle crawled off his bed and decided to finally begin his homework before his mom blasted the door apart and gave him a black eye or something. Although...nothing could have spoiled the happy bubble expanding inside him at the moment. For the first time in his entire life, he was actually looking forward to an argument with Eric Cartman.

_**I hate.**_

_**You hate.**_

_**I hate.**_

_**You love me.**_

_**I hate everything about you.**_

_**Why do I love you?**_

_**

* * *

**_

Eesh...this was a tricky chapter to write...so many raging hormones and emotions...GAH!  
And I bet chu were all happy I added Mysterion right? Haha, I fell in love with Kenny all over again after those eps!  
Oh yeah, and Everclear Vodka is the strongest alcoholic beverage ever created...it is 75.5% to 95% vodka...that's some hardcore shit there...  
THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! I LAV U ALLLLLL! PLEASE CONTINUE REVIEWING, BECAUSE I HOPE THIS FANFIC WILL RUN FOR A WHILE, AT LEAST 20 CHAPTERS.__


	7. Shut Up And Kiss Me

Finally! The longest chapter yet! And yes...the rating has changed to M...You obviously know why, you readers aren't stupid :P  
I really hope this chapter doesn't seem rushed or anything...I was a little iffy on some of it...idk o_o  
And I want to give a shoutout to my friend Carol (she begged me to mention her even though she forgot her account. She also gave me a few ideas for this chapter too :D), Marina Yano, Flannelninja, and Remmyblack for reviewing on pretty much every chapter :D))) cartman chins xD  
Anyways, enjoy ;3 (raep face) CARTMAN POV  
**

* * *

**

**Shut Up And Kiss Me  
Orianthi**

Cartman sobbed. His sient tears falling down upon the wrinkled edges of the charred photo of Kyle, making the corners sizzle when the liquid touched it. He hated it. Despised it. Make it go away! Cried the demons inside him. _Kill it, kill that thing that's possessing your heart! Burn the Jew just like you said you would! Wait...what is this? Tears? From the cold hearted killer known as Eric Theodore Cartman? Man up you pussy! You don't love, you HATE! He's jus going to hurt you again like everything else in your life does._

"I-I know, just shut it! And I'm not a pussy...but...I don't know how long I can resist. If I don't make a move now...what would have been the point of everything I've done so far...?"

_You don't care! You NEVER care! Get in control of yourself. It's not what you think it is. You DO hate him and it's going to stay that way. You're confused and he's confunded your mind with his Jew powers!_

"Hmph...figures the little fag would be using his Jew magic to get me to like him and then he'll just turn against me and break my heart. That damn Jersey Jinger Jew...you will NOT win this war," Cartman completed his argument with himself and turned off his light to go to sleep, setting the picture aside next to the burned out candle, a drop of wax falling upon Kyle's face.

* * *

Cartman awoke the next day completely exausted. He had tossed and turned a lot and had finally fallen asleep around 4 am. He looked over a his alarm clock thinking it must be around eight or so, but only to cry out in shock when the clock read 12 pm. There was only one hour until the date at the mall! And fuck...he had to see Kyle and pretend to get along with him at that. Even more torture. Cartman crawled out of bed and dressed himself in a pair of dark jeans, a red t-shirt, ad his favorite black leather jacket that always seemed to get a woman's attention. He then went out into the hall to see if his mom was cooking anything.

"MAAAAUM, I'M HUNGRY!" Cartman called down from the stairs. No answer.

"AY! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUTTA BED ALREADY!" Still no answer. WTF. Cartmn peered into his mom bedroom. Empty. He checked all the rooms, no one but him was present in his house. He peeked through the window towards the driveway. Both his and his moms cars were gone. Fuck that cunt, how the hell was he suppossed to get to the mall now! And why the hell did she take both of the cars anyways? it made no sense, he'd have to tell her off later when she came back. He looked down at his Teiko sports watch and gasped. Fuck. He had thirty minutes to get to the mall. It took about that amount of time to get there and he had no ride. Butjust as he thought this, he spotted a familiar silver BMW approaching his house. Freakin' filthy money grabbing jews...

"KAAHHHL!" Cartman ran ouside and called for him. Kyle's head turned at the sight of him and he slammed on his breaks. "Roll down the god damned window Jew!" Cartman yelled through the glass. Kyle groaned and cocked hi head to the side in exasperation.

"Yes?" He asked impatiently.

"Give me a ride to the mall," Cartman demanded

"Why should I?" Kyle already looked pissed from the fact that he was being ordered to be Cartman's chauffeur. But Cartman wasn't taking no for an answer. He went to the passenger side of the vehicle, opened it up, and climbed inside. He knew this would rile up the Jew even more.

"Dude! You can NOT expect me to give you a ride right after you barge right into my car without permission!" Kyle fumed. Oh gosh, seeing his Jew getting so fired up so soon right after waking up was such a turn on.

"Actually, I do expect you to Jew. As much as I hate to be in a faggy little BMW with a Jew driver, I have no choice. Not stop being a little bitch an shut the fuck up," Cartma leaned in to Kyle, his hand on his thigh, speaking into his ear with that deadly silky velvet voice of his. Much to the sadists surprise, Kyle didn't even attempt to argue back. He just sat there frozen in his seat, blushing a scarlet red and let out a pathetic whimper. Wait. Blushing? Whimpering? So the ginger DID have the hots for him after all. Well this worked out just fine for Cartman. He'd get Kyle to reveal that he was gay for Cartman before Kyle found out his secret. He'd push Kyle to the edge, make the damn Jew sucumb to the temptation before he did. He didn't care at the moment what the little voice inside his head said. He was too horny to pay attention. God dammit...why did he have to be so fucking cute when he was all flustered? He moved his hand and lightly stroked the inside of Kyle's thigh, tracing his fingers closer and closer to Kyle's crotch.

"St-stoppit!" Kyle cried out breathlessly and shoved Cartman off of him. he hastily shoved his hands between his legs and took several deep breaths.

"You can't hide that boner forever Jew, you've gotta start drivin'," Cartman smirked in satisfaction. Kyle gaped at Cartman and opened and closed his mouth several times, looking like a fish an failing to come up with a comeback. Cartman knew he had won this round, he just needed Kyle to openly admit it. Then the nazi would reign victorious. Kyle then put his keys into the ignition and drove away, not saying a work.

_**You're too loud, I'm so hyper.**_

_**On paper, we're a disaster.**_

_**And I'm driving you crazy.**_

_**It's my little game.**_

Cartman decided to make Kyle even more uncomfortable by staring at him the entire way to the mall. Cartman wouldn't have complained though. Damn he looked FAAAAYN today. He was wearing a pair of tight fitting skinny jeans and an opened up green button down shirt. He even decided to ditch his hat today and show off his wild exuberant curls, which he had trimmed up quite a bit so that it was no longer a fro. Damn, Cartman just wanted to fuck him right here. Right now. In the car. But no, he wouldn't be the first one to give into his animalistic desires. Wait, that's what it was right? Just an animal instinct? But why did he only have the urge to do it with that dumb Jew? Love? No, please no. He had to trust his inner voice with this right? It was just because Kyle was fucking hot as hell. Yeah of course, it wasn't because he liked Kyle or anything. His gay little speeches, sweet and sincere smile, or his kindness to others. It wasn't like that.

"Dude take a picture, it'll lat longer fatass," Kyle snapped his fingers in front of Cartman's face to wake him from his trance. "We're at the mall now," Kyle smirked at Cartman. Oh good, so Kyle had finally caught onto his scheme. heh, things would get much more interesting now.

They had planne on meeting their dates at the food court of the mall. Bebe obviously looked like a raging whore and Wendy was wearing a revealing sequined black dress with WAY too much makeup cached onto her face. Bebe must've helped her get ready. Cartman had actually forgotten for a moment who his date was and why he was at the mall in the first place. He was just too into Kyle at the moment. He felt nauseated at the fact he found some scrawny little Jewrat more attractive than the pretty raven haired girl in front of him.

"Hey Eric," Wendy embraced Cartman and kissed him on the lips softly.

"Oh, hey Wendy," Cartman replied and kissed back half heartedly. He was way too distracted and pissed off at the fact that Bebe was now reunited with his Jew and was trying to kiss him on the lips again.

"Bebe...not in public...," Kyle nervously mumbledd, trying to shove the lovestruck girl away from him.

"Aw, no need to be be shy Kyle! But if you want, we can wait until I take you to my place tonight," she winked sexily at him. Nope. Not gonna happen bitch. That cunt was NOT going to be the one to steal Kyle's virginity. HE was going to be the one to pop his cherry. he glared at Bebe angrily. Kyle, noticing this, wrapped his arms around Bebe. He held her face between his hands and touched noses with one another.

"Don't worry hun, I'll be ready for that after we go to Victoria's Secret and we get you some sexy lingerie," Kyle smiled seductively down at her.

"Oh Kyle, yes! I'll pick out something sexy I know you'll love for sure!" She squealed out in excitement.

Cartman stormed away furiously. Shit, that little ginger jew was better at this than he thought.

"Oh don't worry fatass, I didn't forget about you. I'll buy you a sexy bra for your man boobs. What size are you again? Double D?" Kyle caught up with Cartman and tugged his arm, an elognated smile spreading across his lips. Cartman whipped around without warning and stared right into Kyle's shocked eyes with a malicious grin.

"Mmm, I'd bet you'd like me to wear that you kinky Jew slut. And as a return gift I'll go over to Spencer's and get you one of those glow in the dark dildo's to shove up your tight little ass hole," Cartman said in the exact same silky voice that made Kyle melt.

"Psh, you know pretty damn well that I wouldn't want you to fuck me with the dildo," Kyle replied back saucily. Cartman did a double take, not expecting Kyle to recover so quickly and coming up with a remark like that. Wait, so he basically just admitted that he wanted Cartman to screw him! Damn it, that sneaky Jew could and would not get to him! Although he was makig the urge harder and harder to resist.

"I'm gonna get some ice cream," Cartman stalked over to Dairy Queen, the other three following behind, Kyle giggling at Cartman's reaction.

_**I push you, and you push back.**_

_**Two opposites so alike that.**_

_**Everyday's a roller coaster.**_

_**I'm a bump you'll never get over.**_

"Bebe, what're you getting?" Kyle asked her as he was about to pay for his ice cream cone.

"Oh nothing, I'm on a diet," she responded. Psh, of course Wendy and Bebe would be on diets. The skinny little bitches could use a little meat on their bones. Cartman bit into his large chocolate dipped cone and choked as he saw Kyle staring at him and licking his own vanilla cone is a suggestive manner. God damn that little cock teasing Jew! Cartman watched as Kyle skillfully lapped around the entire cone, sucked off the very tip, and licked up the cone very slowly to provoke a larger reaction from Cartman. Cartman watched with interest as Kyle skillfully worked his tongue, imagining how Kyle's techniques would feel on his cock. Kyle sucking them dry and screaming for his ice cream...

"Like what you see fat boy?" Kyle mumbled quietly to Cartman as he strolled past him, following the two girls into Victoria's Secret. Fuck Fuck FUCK. He had lost yet again. He just had to get a chance alone with Kyle. No, he couldn't, he said he wouldn't sucumb. But god damn, just seeing Kyle lapping up an ice cream cone was such a turn on.

Cartman followed as closely as possible to Kyle to be on his toes in case Kyle tried anything else on him. As they entered the shop, they were hit with an explosion of pink and a strong scent of perfume in the air.

"Oooh Kyle, what about this one, do you think it'll look good on me?" Bebe spoke excitedly showing Kyle a sleazy looking hot pink bra that ha enough padding to make you two cup sizes larger and a lacy thong. Damn hoe, fuck off. Need. To. Get. Kyle. Alone.

"Oh yeah that one's alright, I'd keep looking around though. I'm going to look over there for you," Kyle pointed towards the other direction, anxious to leave the girls company.

"Ok, I really want to know what style's you like. It'll give me a better idea as to how you are in bed," Bebe winked again at Kyle. GAAAH. LEAVE NOW YOU HOE BAG!

"Eric, don't you want to help me out too?" Wendy asked, looking slightly hurt and left out.

"Uh huh. I'll look over there with Kyle...we can have a little friendship and bonding time like you wanted us to," Cartman added in and followed Kyle into the other section. Yes Kyle, how WERE you in bed anyways? He was being such a little tease today, Cartman could totally imagine him being wild and kinky. oh shit no. Remember Cartman. You have control over Kyle. You'll win this game. But it didn't help that Kyle was looking at him, a nervous smile playing across his lips. He then placed a finger upon Cartman's lips to prevent any outbursts.

"Cartman, can I just talk to you privately for a moment?" Kyle aske seriously, his bright green eyes boring into Cartman's milk chocolate brown ones. There was something really sexy about the way Kyle stared so intently at him. Only paying attention to him Only thinking about him. He was wrapped around Cartman's finger once again. And at the moment, with a raging boner, Cartman was REALLY not in the mood for chit chat and gay little speeches. Without warning, Cartman had shoved Kyle into an open dressing room, closed the curtain, and pinned his prey against the wall. Yeah fine, Kyle may have won the first game, but he had just lost his patience with it. But the nazi would surely dominate over the Jew in this kind of situation and have him submit.

_**This love hate relationship.**_

_**You say you can't handle it.**_

_**But there's no way to stop this now.**_

_**So shut up and kiss me.**_

Kyle though, was not cooperating. He was wriggling and squirming around in Cartman's firm grasp. Cartman had to pull both of his wrists above his head to gain control over the smaller boy.

"Stop squirming Jew," Cartman hissed into Kyle's ear threatenly.

"No, Cartman...please stop. Not in here. I-I just wanted to talk," Kyle whimpered beneath Cartman's grasp. Aw yes, was he pleading? Begging even, for Cartman to stop? Oh how he had dreampt of this day to come...soon the damn Jew would be wanting the complete opposite. Begging him for more.

"For once in your life, just shut your god damn Jew mouth. I've been waiting too fucking long for this and I ALWAYS get WHAT I want and DO what I want," Cartman growled. And before Kyle could retort, Cartman had already leaned in and kissed him.

_**Kick, scream, call it quits.**_

_**But you're just so full of it.**_

_**Cuz it's too late to close your mouth.**_

_**Shut up and kiss me.**_

Kyle, finally giving into his desires, hungrily kissed back. He even let Cartman's tongue gain access to the inside of his mouth. They kissed fiercly for a few minutes straight, tongues wrestling eachother for dominance while Cartman ground into Kyle crotch. Cartman really didn't give a fuck anymore. He didn't care if this was gay, what the voice in the back of his head said, or if anyone heard them. All he wanted to do at the moment was fuck his Jew until he couldn't sit down on his ass for a week. Cartman stopped the makeout session and moved his lips down Kyle's neck, planting kissed and hickey's here and there. Kyle mewled in pleasure and nervousness as Cartman bit down upon Kyle's neck, drops of blood oozing from the teeth marks. Cartman began to get bored of the grinding and decided to go for the real thing instead. He moved his hands down to the zipper of Kyle's jeans and began to pull down his pants and boxers. Woah, boxers? Cartman was sure he'd be a tidey whitey guy. Kyle's erection sprung right up when his boxers went down and Cartman licked his lips hungrily.

"St-stop, not here Cartman...we're going to get caught," Kyle pitifully begged, trying to shove the heavier boy away from him. But too late, Cartman had already pulled down his own pants and after lifting Kyle to throw his legs around his waist, Cartman had alrady thrusted roughly into the poor Jew. Kyle yelped loudly, digging his nails into Cartman's broad shoulders while Cartman continued to thrust back and forth into Kyle's tight little Jewish ass. And yes, there was ONE thing he had to agree with Bebe with. Kyle DID have a fuckin' sweet ass.

"Stop your whining and take it like the little bitch you are. This wouldn't even be happening if you weren't such a cock. Teasing. Whore," Cartman grunted each word with each thrust.

"Fuck..me harder...," Kyle whined, throwing his head back in bliss.

"Say please," Cartman said huskily to Kyle, utterly delighted at his request.

"Please...fuck me harder...Eric...I want to feel you!" Kyle cried out in pleasure. Cartman slowed down for a second in shock at the fact that Kyle had actually called him by his first name for once. But he used his choice of words as motivation to slam into him harder.

"Good Jew," Cartman breathed as he quickened the pace. Kyle expressed his gratitude by moaning loudly in ecstacy. Cartman leaned in to kiss Kyle again, one hand entangng itself into Kyle's ginger hair while the other one held him securely around the waist. Cartman must've hit a sweet spot in Kyle, as Kyle let out and exceptionally loud moan.

"I'm gonna...gonna cum," Kyle whimpered into Cartman's ear.

"Keep your filthy Jew spooge to yourself. I'm the one who's gonna cum first. You better clean your ass extra well tonight," Cartman said harshly. But just as he was about to spill his seed into the Jersey boys ass, two familiar voices called from outside the curtain.

"Are you guys ok in there?" said the nervous voice of Wendy.

"What the hel are you two doing?" Bebe called out.

"H-hold on a sec," Cartman called out in a panic, letting Kyle drop to the floor on his ass and hurrying to pull on his pants and boxers. Kyle gingerly stood up from the floor and groaned angrily at Cartman for dropping him on his sore ass.

"Hurry the fuck up Jew!" Cartman hissed at him as Kyle fumbled with the zipper of his jeans. Cartman was incredibly pissed and relieved at the untimely interuption from the two girls. If they had continued, Kyle would have released his load all over Cartman' clothes, but on the other hand, Cartman wasn't able to complete his business as well. He wanted to admire the image of the steady flow of his sperm seeping down Kyle's ass and legs. But all in all, that was just fucking amazing. Even though they had done it in cramped quarters, he still thought it was the hottest and most risque thing he had ever done. And the way his Jew just gave into his every whim. Let him take control of his body like that. Why hadn't him and Kyle done something like that before? Kyle HAD to suck his balls the next time they did it. He'd been missing out on a lot of good sex. But...there was something about that kiss that felt so real. Lust? Love? No, of course not love, couldn't be. He'd go with lust. Cartman pulled back the curtain in an hurry and began his act.

"What were you guys both doing in there?" Wendy asked in surprise and suspicion at the fact that the two enemies had been in such a small space together.

"Oh some fucking rich looking bitch shoved us out of the way to hurry to the checkout and we fell through the curtains. Urgh and to think I almost fell on top of Kyle and caught Jew germs," Cartman lied impressively.

"Oh ok, we were looking everywhere for you guys too," Bebe said. "Oh Kyle, do you like what I picked out?" Bebe held up another skimpy looking lacy sequined red lingerie piece with a matching thong and heels. No way. Kyle had too much class to be interested in that. Then again...after that performance Kyle put up in the dressing room, he began to wonder how kinky Kyle could possibly get in bed. Kyle looked pretty uninterested and was defninitely not focusing on Bebe at the moment, but rather at Cartman and still flushed in the face. Ha yes, take it all in Kyle. You know you want some more of this sexy and manly body! But hey...may as well fuck with the Jew a little more while he could.

"Hey, go kiss your girlfriend you little faggot," he whispered to Kyle. Haha, the game was still on! He had his fingers crossed. Cartman could tell the entire school that Kyle wouldn't even kiss his own girlfriend after all. Aw the joy of blackmail. Kyle's eyes widened in shock but then narrowed when he finally figured out what was up his sleeve. Surprisingly enough, Kyle gritted his teeth together, took a deep breath, and kissed Bebe's lips roughly. Obviouly to proove his nemesis wrong and piss him off. Bebe gadly accepted the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck eagerly awaiting more. When they broke apart, Kyle gave Cartman a wicked smile and headed for the cashier with Bebe, arm in arm.

"By the way fatass...you look really hot in the jacket," Kyle spoke from the corner of his mouth to a stupified Cartman as he walked past.

"You're such a fucking chick...," Cartman said after Kyle walked away.

_**Go ahead now, admit it.**_

_**You like your world with me in it.**_

_**Like a record, it's broken.**_

_**Yeah, I'm a bump you'll never get over.**_

_**~So shut up and kiss me.**_

**

* * *

**BAHAHAHA YAY YOU MADE IT! :D  
I'm like obsessed with bra's from victoria's secret atm (spent 80 bucks on one bra and a pair on panties last week o_o) and i thought it was a gayer place xD  
So yeah...Cartman STILL won't admit it's love...=_= dumbass.  
Cartman-AY! YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING MY LINES! SO YOU'RE THE DUMBASS!  
Me-...Touche ._.  
PLEASE R&R OR WRITE SOMETHING REALLY RANDOM, I REALLY DON'T CARE. MORE REVIEWS MEAN MORE MOTIVATION. MORE MOTIVATION MEANS MORE CHAPTERS! :3


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